Humanoid Robots Without the Hype

A crisp weekly briefing on who's closest to your living room—and what's still a lab demo.

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01

The Big 3

1X
Preorders Open

NEO targets household chores with teleop + growing autonomy; deliveries slated 2026.

Figure
In-Home 2025

Figure 03 frames a home helper path; not on sale yet—watch alpha learnings.

Tesla
Target 2026

Factory-first deployments; consumer pricing and dates unannounced.

Concept 02

Broadcast Order

NUMBERED STRIPS LET YOU PROGRAM THE NEWSLETTER OR EVENT RUN OF SHOW—ALL CAPS, ZERO DOUBT.

01
1X · LEAD STORY
1X NEO humanoid robot
NEO

Headline live deployments, teleop handoffs, and concierge contracts with stark Swiss clarity.

SECURITY LIVE
02
FIGURE · FEATURE
Figure humanoid robot
FIGURE 03

Slot the demo reel, AI stack bullet points, and BMW partnership updates into the same ticker line.

AI STACK PILOT
03
TESLA · CLOSER
Tesla Optimus humanoid robot
OPTIMUS

Finish with torque milestones, factory footage, and Dojo automation notes—they read like breaking news.

TORQUE FACTORY
Concept 03

Report Ledger

MATRIX STYLE BREAKDOWN FOR COMPARISON CHARTS, INVESTOR BRIEFS, OR EXECUTIVE UPDATES.

PROFILE
1X · FIELD READY 1X NEO humanoid robot
NEO
TELEOP GLOBAL
FIGURE · ALPHA Figure humanoid robot
FIGURE 03
BMW 20KG LIFT
TESLA · LAB Tesla Optimus humanoid robot
OPTIMUS
DOJO FACTORY
FOCUS
Concierge patrols, security automation, and telepresence guard rails.
Assembly teammates, vision-language autonomy, and safety choreography.
Gigafactory throughput, torque gains, and supply-chain leverage.
MOMENTUM
Deposits live, multi-market patrols, concierge pilots underway.
BMW line trials, coffee demo replay, early home rehearsals.
Gen 3 factory sightings, motor reuse, investor deck momentum.
STACK
Teleops + autonomy blend, remote operations tooling, concierge apps.
Vision-language core, dexterous hands, safety instrumentation.
Dojo-trained perception, Tesla drive units, in-house actuators.
Concept 04

Neon Runway

DARK MODE FLEX STRIP FOR KEYNOTES OR LATE-NIGHT NEWSLETTERS—PURE THEATER.

1X · AFTER HOURS 1X NEO humanoid robot
NEO

Spotlight overnight patrol uptime, concierge SLAs, and teleop safeguards.

SECURITY SLA
FIGURE · SPOTLIGHT Figure humanoid robot
FIGURE 03

Call out demo reel beats, torque wins, and partner pilots with neon edge.

AI PILOT
TESLA · FINAL WALK Tesla Optimus humanoid robot
OPTIMUS

End with torque stats, production cadence, and roadmap fireworks under a dark lens flare.

TORQUE ROADMAP
02

Latest News

Humanoid funding thumbnail
Funding Consumer

1X Opens NEO Preorders with $10K Deposit

Norwegian robotics company 1X has begun accepting $10,000 refundable deposits for its NEO humanoid robot, targeting delivery in 2026.

Why it matters: Preorders don't equal shipments. But they do force a support model, supply chain, and clear definitions of "works today."
Robot demo thumbnail
Demo AI

Figure Demonstrates Autonomous Coffee Making

Figure's latest video shows Figure 03 making coffee autonomously using vision-language models.

Why it matters: Real autonomy in one task doesn't mean general household competence. But it's a clear milestone.
03

Timeline

Q4 2024

1X Opens NEO Preorders

$10K refundable deposits accepted. Limited production run targeting early adopters.

Q2 2025

Figure In-Home Alpha Testing

Select households to receive Figure 03 units for supervised testing.

Late 2025

Tesla Optimus Factory Scale-Up

Hundreds of units deployed in Tesla factories.

2026

First Consumer Deliveries

1X NEO deliveries begin to preorder customers.

04

Explainers

Teleoperation vs Autonomy

Break down who is actually driving the robot and how often vision-language models step in.

Household Safety Protocols

The standards emerging for fall detection, torque limits, and certification.

Demo vs Deployment

Spot the difference between a polished video and capabilities customers can expect.

05

Comparison

Company Model Specs Hands Availability Price
1X NEO 5'5" / 66 lbs 2-finger 2026 ~$30K
Figure Figure 03 5'6" / 130 lbs 5-finger Alpha 2025 TBD
Tesla Optimus Gen 3 5'8" / 160 lbs 5-finger TBD <$25K
06
Video
Figure 03 Demo Analysis

Figure's coffee sequence highlights smoother grasp planning and fewer cuts than earlier demos.

07
Newsletter
08
Jobs

Controls Engineer

1X — Tune locomotion for tight apartment layouts.

Perception Lead

Figure — Fuse language models with manipulation policies.

Safety Researcher

Tesla — Build validation for Optimus home pilots.