Humanoid Robots Without the Hype

A crisp weekly briefing on who's closest to your living room—and what's still a lab demo.

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01

The Big 3

1X
Preorders Open

NEO targets household chores with teleop + growing autonomy; deliveries slated 2026.

Figure
In-Home 2025

Figure 03 frames a home helper path; not on sale yet—watch alpha learnings.

Tesla
Target 2026

Factory-first deployments; consumer pricing and dates unannounced.

Concept 02

Running Order

Sequential ticker rows call out who goes when—great for newsletters, event recaps, or roadmap beats.

01
1X · Patrol Shift
1X NEO humanoid robot
NEO

Cover telepresence uptime, concierge clients, and deposit momentum in one disciplined block.

Security Live
02
Figure · Demo Cue
Figure humanoid robot
Figure 03

Detail the VLM coffee demos, BMW line integrations, and in-home alpha plans with bold Swiss rhythm.

AI Stack Alpha 2025
03
Tesla · Line Block
Tesla Optimus humanoid robot
Optimus

Use the closing slot for torque updates, headcount plans, and Dojo-schooled automation clips.

Torque Factory
Concept 03

Spec Ledger

Ledger matrix compares focus, momentum, and stack at a glance—exactly how Swiss infographics love it.

Profile
1X · Field Ready 1X NEO humanoid robot
NEO
Teleop Global
Figure · Alpha Build Figure humanoid robot
Figure 03
BMW 20kg Lift
Tesla · Lab Trials Tesla Optimus humanoid robot
Optimus
Dojo Factory
Focus
Concierge coverage, night patrols, and home readiness messaging.
Manufacturing teammate—line swaps, safety drills, and dexterity reels.
Gigafactory automation, torque targets, and supply-chain announcements.
Momentum
Deposits live, live deployments expanding across security contracts.
Coffee demos, BMW pilots, and early smart-home rehearsals.
Gen 3 sightings, line integration, and investor deck previews.
Stack
Teleops + autonomy blend, remote guard rails, concierge apps.
Vision-language core, dexterous hands, safety-certified motion.
Dojo-trained perception, Tesla drive units, in-house actuators.
Concept 04

Poster Wall

Three poster columns with bold gradients—drop into a product wall, storefront window, or email hero strip.

1X · Gallery A 1X NEO humanoid robot
NEO

Bold cyan gradient keeps the silhouette crisp for Swiss-style product posters and quarterly reviews.

Teleop Concierge
Figure · Gallery B Figure humanoid robot
Figure 03

Muted teal wash sets the stage for AI stack callouts, torque specs, and partner logos.

BMW Vision
Tesla · Gallery C Tesla Optimus humanoid robot
Optimus

Warm magenta fade leans into launch theatrics while leaving space for roadmap annotations.

Factory Launch
02

Latest News

Humanoid funding thumbnail
Funding Consumer

1X Opens NEO Preorders with $10K Deposit

Norwegian robotics company 1X has begun accepting $10,000 refundable deposits for its NEO humanoid robot, targeting delivery in 2026.

Why it matters: Preorders don't equal shipments. But they do force a support model, supply chain, and clear definitions of "works today."
Robot demo thumbnail
Demo AI

Figure Demonstrates Autonomous Coffee Making

Figure's latest video shows Figure 03 making coffee autonomously using vision-language models.

Why it matters: Real autonomy in one task doesn't mean general household competence. But it's a clear milestone.
03

Timeline

Q4 2024

1X Opens NEO Preorders

$10K refundable deposits accepted. Limited production run targeting early adopters.

Q2 2025

Figure In-Home Alpha Testing

Select households to receive Figure 03 units for supervised testing.

Late 2025

Tesla Optimus Factory Scale-Up

Hundreds of units deployed in Tesla factories.

2026

First Consumer Deliveries

1X NEO deliveries begin to preorder customers.

04

Explainers

Teleoperation vs Autonomy

Break down who is actually driving the robot and how often vision-language models step in.

Household Safety Protocols

The standards emerging for fall detection, torque limits, and certification.

Demo vs Deployment

Spot the difference between a polished video and capabilities customers can expect.

05

Comparison

Company Model Specs Hands Availability Price
1X NEO 5'5" / 66 lbs 2-finger 2026 ~$30K
Figure Figure 03 5'6" / 130 lbs 5-finger Alpha 2025 TBD
Tesla Optimus Gen 3 5'8" / 160 lbs 5-finger TBD <$25K
06
Video
Figure 03 Demo Analysis

Figure's coffee sequence highlights smoother grasp planning and fewer cuts than earlier demos.

07
Newsletter
08
Jobs

Controls Engineer

1X — Tune locomotion for tight apartment layouts.

Perception Lead

Figure — Fuse language models with manipulation policies.

Safety Researcher

Tesla — Build validation for Optimus home pilots.